7 June 2008
6 June 2008
So in effect, one should not act as if on a quiz show "fastest finger first" - but one should hasten to adhere to correct manners, by ensuring others are not harmed by our tongue or actions.
5 June 2008
4 June 2008
A wise man said to his son:
" Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking"
Listening well means to maintain eye contact (when appropriate), allowing the speaker to finish their speech and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech.
"Never interrupt a talk, though you know it inside out".
- Al Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi
1 June 2008
Ettiquette between brothers and sisters in conversation
29 November 2007
12 October 2007
Ok so alhamdulillah, the day of Eid has passed, and I pray that all our ibadah was accepted, and we are forgiven for the shortfalls, and mistakes we made during this month and our lifetimes.
May Allah (swt) protect us from the lure of shaytaan and give us the tawfiq to fast in shawwal too. May we all be granted the best of the dunya and akhirra (Ameen)
"Abu Ayyoub reported that the Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said "Whoever fasts the month of Ramadhan and then follows it by fasting six days during the month of Shawwal will be rewarded as if he had fasted the entire year. [Muslim, at-Tirmithi, Ibn Majah, Abu Dawood and Ahmad by way of Jabir]. "
These days can be anytime during the month of Shawwal except the first day because it is unlawful to fast the day of Eid. These days do not have to be at beginning of the month nor do they have to be consecutive. Hence, Muslims should seize this opportunity and fast these six days to gain Allah's reward inshaAllah.
7 September 2007
4 September 2007
3 September 2007
Duties of the Host
29 August 2007
If one enters a room, one should not sit between two people, but should sit to their left or right. Abu Dawud reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
27 August 2007
Levels of respect
There are 3 main factors that should be considered when one takes into account the level of respect for others; namely age, piety and knowledge. Islam gives importance to quality in salah, knowledge, prayers, age, the one who memorises the Quran, piety. These noble qualities should be paid attention too when respecting someone.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: "Treat people according to their class/honour" (Abu Da'ud)
For example the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) gave more time to the leaders as they were the most influencial on the people to encourage others to embrace the deen of Islam.
Even if the person is a younger scholar, there should be mutual respect. We should be careful when given a title such as mufti/hafidh(a)/shaykh(a) etc and should still respect the elders for their wisdom/guidance/experience.
Even when serving it must be remembered that the qualities mentioned above with regards to noble qualities of the believers, one must serve in accordance to the most distinguished/noble of the gathering. If it is a gathering of equals one should start from the right moving from that person's right anticlockwise. One shouldn't leave more important people to serve someone lower. One should first serve the one with the most noble Islamic state.
General rules in conversation
- When a noble person comes from the community give them respect.
- Keep conversation short, brief, concise. Inform the person you wish to converse with, before rambling on and perhaps causing them an inconvenience (this applies also on the phone).
- In a gathering do not talk unless it is to respond to something.
- In a gathering of elders and youngsters, the youngsters of the group should have respect for the elders and the elders should have mercy on the younger people present during conversation.
- Out of respect one should not preach or lecture an elder in a gathering. This shows insincerity and lack of adab.
- Pay attention to the way you sit when having a conversation. When talking to someone, face them, not just simply half heartedly, but fully if possible. This is from the sunnah and the person will feel respected that they're words are being paid attention to.
11 July 2007
The Manners of Conversation
Dealing with Non Muslims
Visiting the sick
10 July 2007
9 July 2007
When you enter the home of your host, whether as a visitor or an overnight guest, one should not closely examine its contents as an inspector would. It is important to limit ones observation to what you need to see. Do not open closed closets, suitcases, files or boxes. Do not inspect a wallet, a package or a covered object. This is against Islamic manners and is an impolite betrayal of the trust your host has accorded to you. In order to cultivate the hosts love and respect, one should uphold these manners during the visit.
8 July 2007
If one arrives early at a gathering and the host out of kindness directs you to sit at the most prominent seat, be prepared to stand up and give the seat to the elders, the notables or the scholars when they arrive after you. they deserve the seat more than you. do not be insensitive and tactless. Refusing to give up a seat to those who traditionally deserve it, only indicates lack of manners and common sense.
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
Remaining entrenched in ones seat does not help to elevate ones status, but will certainly raise eyebrows amongst those present. Insisting upon undeserved honour is considered arrogance. This rule applies equally to men and women. Being insensible does not enhance ones social status, but on the contrary tarnishes ones reputation. Honouring an honourable person will only improve ones standing and stir admiration for ones manners and humbleness. Something many today are in dire need of.
22 June 2007
19 June 2007
When asking permission to enter a home, avoid glancing unnecessarily at its interior or beyond the guests quarter's. One should lower the gaze to prevent one from seeing awrat or anything else that is not lawful for us to see. What is private should remain so. This is shameful and harmful. Abu Dawud and al Tabarani explain that:
30 May 2007
فَإِن لَّمْ تَجِدُوا فِيهَا أَحَدًا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّى يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ وَإِن قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْجِعُوا فَارْجِعُوا هُوَ أَزْكَى لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌ
The Tabi’i Qatada ibn Di’ama al-Sudusi said, “Do not hang around the door of those who decline to recieve your visit. Accept their reason, move on to attend to your business, and let them attend to theirs”.
One should not ask for a reason or an explanation as Imam Malik (رحمة الله عليه) used to say;
“Not all people can disclose their excuses”
The one visiting should seek permission by saying; “You’re not busy are you” or “Perhaps you’re busy and can’t receive us” to make the hosts feel at ease. One should always remember even in telephone calls to seek permission to take that persons time, removing any ill feelings if declined. It is important adab not to make it difficult for someone to decline, as that in turn may cause some harm to them or their situation.
Imam al-Tabari in his Tafsir reported that a man of the Muhajirin said, “All my life, I wanted to practice this verse :If ye find no one in the house, enter not until permission is given to you: if ye are asked to go back, go back: that makes for greater purity for yourselves: and Allah knows well all that ye do.” (Quran 24:28), but I could not. I was hoping I would seek permission to visit a brother and he would tell me to ‘Go back!’ I would gladly have left, thus fulfilling the commandment of Allah”
1. If you can’t make an appointment, cancel it.
2. If something comes up, decline your visitor, and tell him to return; but don’t lie!
3. If you are declined, don’t hold a grudge.
4. Strive to be frank, true, brave, generous by following the example of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and His companions, wherever possible.
25 May 2007
The new "user-friendly" version of Adab in Islam is now up and running at:
Notes will however also be updated here for those that prefer this style to the new one. If u have any constructive criticism, or feedback, please add comments to this post.
Wa'alaykum asalaam wahrehmatullahi wahbarakatuhu
21 May 2007
THE LENGTH OF THE VISIT
The length of a visit should correspond with how well you know the host, their circumsances and conditions. Do not overstay your welcome by making your visit too long or burdensome. One should always be aware not to sit for too long, as we may be harming the hosts.
Today many of us neglect this adab and continue to sit for hours, assuming it is okay because we know the hosts well, and are very close to them. This is not correct. Often a longer visit, is of little benefit and increases opportunity for purpose to divulge into major sins of Backbiting, slander and idle gossip.
When visiting someone, there is a fine line between being welcome and harming the host, by over burdening them with requests and demands. Often people are in a hurry and one should seek ijaza for their time. This is especially important when visiting Ulema. One should always endeavour to seek an appointment where possible to avoiding inconveniencing someone. As people have their own schedules and it may not be convenient for them
Imam Nawawi (رحمة الله عليه) said:
"It is strongly recommened for Muslims to visit the pious people, their brethren, neighbours, friends and relatives, and to be generous, kind and obliging to them. However, the extent of the visit varies according to the hosts circumstances. The visit ought to be conducted in a pleasant manner and at convenient times. There are numerous sayings and traditions in this regard."
(Al Adhkar in the chapter of Isti'dhan)
20 May 2007
Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says in the Quran:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ أَوْفُواْ بِالْعُقُودِ
"O you who believe, fulfil your promises....."
(Surah Al Mai'da: Verse 1)
Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) also praised Prophet Isma'il;
وَاذْكُرْ فِي الْكِتَابِ إِسْمَاعِيلَ إِنَّهُ كَانَ صَادِقَ الْوَعْدِ وَكَانَ رَسُولًا نَّبِيًّا
"Also mention in the Book (the story of) Isma’il: He was (strictly) true to what he promised, and he was an Apostle (and) a Prophet."
(Surah Maryam: Verse 54)
Keeping appointments is vital to life. Time is the most precious commodity. Once wasted, it can never be recovered. If you make an appointment, whether with a friend, Ulema or for business, you should do your utmost to keep this appointment. This somewhat simple adab is the right of the person you are visiting, as they have favoured you by sacrificing their valuable time for you. Lapse in timekeeping and failure to keep an appointmentnot only disrupts and causes inconvenience to the one you are visiting/meeting/arranged to see but also marrs your image and reputation. As your time keeping skills decline, peoples respect for you will also. Regardless of their importance, one should always endeavour to keep appointments;
وَأَوْفُواْ بِالْعَهْدِ إِنَّ الْعَهْدَ كَانَ مَسْؤُولاً
"....And keep your promises; the promise is a responsibility"
(Quran Surah Al-Isra: verse 34)
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) once gave an appointment to one of his Companions. The Companion came 3 days later. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) gently reprimanded him saying "You have caused me some trouble. I have been waiting for you for 3 days". The Companion probably had an excuse for this however he had no means by which to inform the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) of this in advance.
Today in an age of technology and reliable communication available everywhere, one would wonder why we have MST (Muslim Standard Time) or general widespread lateness amongst the Muslims. One should realise that we may infact be inconveniencing those who are to be visited. To seek an appointment is to seek permission. One should always endeavour to inform of the inability to make an appointment as that valuable time can be utilised elsewhere. No matter how unimportant a meeting may seem, it always merits an apology or prior notice of lateness, or cancellation.
An appointment is a commitment which shoould be kept properly or cancelled in advance.
In an age where the words "إن شاء الله" and "promise" are merely lipservice, one should be reminded of the clear prohibition of breaking promises and trust:
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: "Three traits single out the hypocrite, even if he prays or fasts and claims to be Muslim: if he speaks he lies. If he makes a promise, he does not keep it. If he is entrusted, he betrays the trust."
(Bukhari & Muslim)
Imam Ghazali (رحمة الله عليه) explained that this hadith is applicable to those who promise while intending not to fulfil it, or those who, without excuse, decide later not to fulfil a promise. Those who promise but could not fulfil their promise due to a proper excuse are not hypocrites. One should be careful not to present a false excuse as Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) knows that which is in our hearts.
Never make a promise while intending not to keep it, for verily, actions are but by intentions. This is forbidden as it falls within lying and hypocrisy.
13 May 2007
Time : 7pm Friday (11th May - 13th July 2007)
Event Location : The IslamBradford Centre, Preston Street, Bradford, BD7 1JP
10 May 2007
Jabir Ibn Abdullah (رضى الله عنه) narrated: "I went to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) for a debt that was upon my father. I knocked on the door, and He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, "Who is there?" I answered "Me". He said "Me, me" in a way that showed His dislike of my answer.
6 May 2007
1. Knock gently with the tips of the fingers, or just loud enough for the occupants to hear.
2. Do not bang the door or ring the bell continuously. Be patient.
3. Allow enough time for the person to answer the door (about the time it takes to read 4 raka'ahs) between each knock.
4. After 3 spaced knocks, and no answer. Leave.
5. Do not stand infront of the door, but slightly to the right or left, so that you may protect your eyes from that which may not be lawful for you to see.
30 April 2007
(children) among you who have not come of age ask your permission (before they come to your presence), on three occasions: before morning prayer; the while ye doff your clothes for the noonday heat; and after the late-night prayer: these are your three times of undress: outside those times it is not wrong for you or for them to move about attending to each other: Thus does Allah make clear the Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.".