Phone conversations

Whether talking to a friend, family, a scholar, a teacher, or any other person one much always keep the following basic priinciples in mind. Do not always assume that because you or the other person has "free call time" it is always convenient or appropriate for your to call. Keep in mind:

1. Always identify yourself by saying your name unless it is someone very close to you - indeed there maybe more than one Ayesha or Abdullah the person you are calling knows, and voices are not always easy to distinguish by all.

2. Ensure it is convenient for the person to speak and that they are not engaged in other activities.

3. Do not engage in conversation or answer questions until you know who is calling - lest you disclose something you shouldn't.

4. Choose the right time for your call, whether calling relatives, friends, employees or officials - avoid meal times and prayer times in particular.

5. Make your conversation brief and to the point, so it will not interfere with thier business or other calls they themselves have to make or receive (Particularly important with Shaykhs and such like - do not make a 20 minute story about a simple question, be succinct and try to mention only that which is relevant).

6. When conversing with a member of the opposite sex, for an appropriate reason (eg: a teacher, scholar etc) then be sure not to go off topic, and maintain a level of respect and formality.

7. Sisters - If you have a naturally soft voice, try to make it more 'rough' - so as not to encourage the one who may have illness in thier heart. Indeed in the extra effort this involves will come extra reward inshaAllah for wanting to please Allah (سبحانه وتعالى).

Keeping in Touch

When one can not visit relatives, friends or acquaintances one should still keep in touch with them by calling, emailing, or sending a letter. This leaves a deep and amicable impression and will keep the relationship alive. Al Fadl ibn Marwan, the vizer of the Abbasid Khalifa al Mu'tasim said,

"Inquiring about friends is like meeting them"

One should however in these situations look to the topic of conversation and pay attention not to fall into the traps of backbiting, idle gossip and slander etc when communicating with people. These manners of conversation will be covered in the following chapter (Chapter 5). However, needless to say the idle chit chat time has increased with the increase of mobile phone contract packages and so called surge in "FREE Ghiba'a" time... a better way to overcome the urge to spend long lengthy conversations of no benefit on the phone is to send a text, or briefly call someone simply to ask how they are; especially those that live some distance away and you are unable to visit so frequently, those that are ill, or perhaps alone.