Brief advice to the sisters

In the book "Islamic Manners", Shaykh 'Abd al-Fattah Abu Ghuddah mentions the following key points directed towards the sisters predominantly. That is not to say that brothers are innocent of that which is mentioned but just to say that it is ooften the women who partake in such things.

1. Timing your visit: If you want to visit your relatives or your Muslims sisters, be careful when selecting the days and the hour of your visit and its duration. Do not arrive for example at meal times or at resting times as this may cause inconvenience to the host. Even with relatives and friends make your visit short, brief and pleasant. Avoid turning your visit into a boring wearisome, inquisitive and lengthy visit.

2. Purpose of your visit: The purpose of your visit should be to rekindle and nourish friendship or kinship. A brief considerate visit is more beloved that the long tedious one in which the conversation moves from being purposeful to being aimless and trivial.

3. Conversation:

The tabi'i Muhammad ibn Shihab al Zuhri said:

"When a meeting becomes too long, Satan increasingly participates in it."

As the length of a visit increases and shaytaan increasingly participates, the conversation turns from that which is beneficial to tale bearing, gossip, backbiting and other undesirable and unislamic traits. The worst of all people on the day of judgement will be the one who is 2 faced. So be careful and aware of that which leaves your tongue. The sane and intelligent Muslim sister does not have time for the nonesense of idle talk, gossip and backbiting, speak that which is of benefit or remain silent.

The evils of Al-Ghiba'a are deeply rooted in today's socieety, to read more about Al-Ghiba'a, its causes and cures CLICK HERE and HERE. May Allah purify us and distance us from the evils of the tongue. Ameen.

Keeping in Touch

When one can not visit relatives, friends or acquaintances one should still keep in touch with them by calling, emailing, or sending a letter. This leaves a deep and amicable impression and will keep the relationship alive. Al Fadl ibn Marwan, the vizer of the Abbasid Khalifa al Mu'tasim said,

"Inquiring about friends is like meeting them"

One should however in these situations look to the topic of conversation and pay attention not to fall into the traps of backbiting, idle gossip and slander etc when communicating with people. These manners of conversation will be covered in the following chapter (Chapter 5). However, needless to say the idle chit chat time has increased with the increase of mobile phone contract packages and so called surge in "FREE Ghiba'a" time... a better way to overcome the urge to spend long lengthy conversations of no benefit on the phone is to send a text, or briefly call someone simply to ask how they are; especially those that live some distance away and you are unable to visit so frequently, those that are ill, or perhaps alone.