Greeting a Group

The Salaam

If one enters a room, one should greet everyone inside "Asalaamualaykaa". One should never just give to salaam to those they know, but also extend it to those one doesn't know. The salaam should be made with the intention of three: The angels and those one is visiting, or joining. The distinguished salaam of the Muslims is an important quality one must always remember.

Shaking Hands

When shaking hands with those present, one should endeavour to start with the most prominent, the most knowledgeable, the most pious, the elder or the one who has similar Islamic distinctions. One shouldn't start with the first person seen on ones right for one may in turn overlook a more distinguished prominent person. If one can't decide who is the most distinguished in terms of the above,or if they are all of comparable status then one should first greet the elder of the gathering as they are the easiest to distinguish. Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) explained that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: "The elder! The elder!". In another narration He said: "The elders come first".

Levels of respect

There are 3 main factors that should be considered when one takes into account the level of respect for others; namely age, piety and knowledge. Islam gives importance to quality in salah, knowledge, prayers, age, the one who memorises the Quran, piety. These noble qualities should be paid attention too when respecting someone.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: "Treat people according to their class/honour" (Abu Da'ud)

For example the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) gave more time to the leaders as they were the most influencial on the people to encourage others to embrace the deen of Islam.

Even if the person is a younger scholar, there should be mutual respect. We should be careful when given a title such as mufti/hafidh(a)/shaykh(a) etc and should still respect the elders for their wisdom/guidance/experience.

Serving

Even when serving it must be remembered that the qualities mentioned above with regards to noble qualities of the believers, one must serve in accordance to the most distinguished/noble of the gathering. If it is a gathering of equals one should start from the right moving from that person's right anticlockwise. One shouldn't leave more important people to serve someone lower. One should first serve the one with the most noble Islamic state.

General rules in conversation

- When a noble person comes from the community give them respect.

- Keep conversation short, brief, concise. Inform the person you wish to converse with, before rambling on and perhaps causing them an inconvenience (this applies also on the phone).

- In a gathering do not talk unless it is to respond to something.

- In a gathering of elders and youngsters, the youngsters of the group should have respect for the elders and the elders should have mercy on the younger people present during conversation.

- Out of respect one should not preach or lecture an elder in a gathering. This shows insincerity and lack of adab.

- Pay attention to the way you sit when having a conversation. When talking to someone, face them, not just simply half heartedly, but fully if possible. This is from the sunnah and the person will feel respected that they're words are being paid attention to.

The Manner of giving Salam

The best methods of extending the greetings of peace are listed in rank order.

1.

السلام عليكم والرحمه الله وبركاته

"May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you"

2.

السلام عليكم والرحمه الله

"May the peace and mercy of Allah be upon you"

3.

السلام عليكم

"May peace be upon you"

The order is proven by the narration of the hadith by Abu Huraira (رضى الله عنه) in which a man passed by the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) - who was seated in a gathering and said "Asalaamu Alaikum" The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said "Ten good deeds are written for him", Another man passed by and said, "Assalaamu Alaikum Wahrahmatullah", and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, "Twenty good deeds". Then another passed by and said, "Assalamu Alaikum wahrehmatulahi Wabarakatuhu" and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said "Thirty good deeds".

(Al Adab Al Mufrad)

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When responding to these greetings, one must return either a greeting that is better than it or is equal to it.

وَإِذَا حُيِّيْتُم بِتَحِيَّةٍ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَا أَوْ رُدُّوهَا

"When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it or (at least) return it equally".

(Surah An Nisa: verse 86)

Other general obligations of giving salam are summarised below:

1. When greeting a large gathering, or if you are in doubt that the person you greeted has heard you, it is reccommended to repeat the greeting 3 times but should not go beyond this.

2. It is the Sunnah to initiate the greeting and respond to them out loud/audibly

3. Make your greetings to all in a gathering, not just to those you know.

A man asked the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), "Which Islam is best?" and He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied: "Feeding others and saying As-Salaam both to those you know and you don't know" (Bukhari & Muslim)

4. One who arrives in a gathering should hasten to initiate the greeting.

5. It is sunnah for the rider to greet the pedestrian, the pedestrian to greet the seated, the few to greet the many and the young to greet the old.

6. When meeting, the better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting (Bukhari)

7. It is reccommended to greet young children.

8. When greeting those that are awake in the presence of those that are sleeping, one should lower the tone of the voice, such as not to disturb the sleeping, but be heard by those who are awake.

9. One should not "initiate" the greeting of peace to the people of the book.

10. When answering the Salam of the people of the book, one should reply "Wa-Alaikum" (And same upon you).

11. It is disliked to greet someone who is relieving himself.

12. When entering the masjid, one should first pray the 2 rakahs of Tahiyyatul Masjid before greeting those present.

13. When the Imam is delivering the Jumuah khutbah it is disliked to give salam

14. When meeting others, always begin with greetings of peace and then start your conversation.

15. Before one parts from a gathering it is sunnah to give the greetings of peace.

16. It is disliked to greet with the hand (like the people of the book).

17. When answering a letter one should also return the greetings.

18. Part of the full greeting is to shake your the hand. (brother to brother, sister to sister). [Al Adab Al Mufrad].

The Obligation of giving Salam

The Obligation of giving Salam

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says in the Quran:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْنِسُوا وَتُسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَهْلِهَا ذَلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those there in".

(Surah An-Noor: Verse 27)

فَإِذَا دَخَلْتُم بُيُوتًا فَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِكُمْ تَحِيَّةً مِّنْ عِندِ اللَّهِ مُبَارَكَةً طَيِّبَةً

...But when you enter the houses, greet one another with a greeting from Allah: a greeting blessed and good...

(Surah An-Noor: verse 61)

وَإِذَا حُيِّيْتُم بِتَحِيَّةٍ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَا أَوْ رُدُّوهَا

"When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally..."

(Surah An-Nisa: verse 86)

When entering or leaving the house, one must acknowledge those inside by using the greetings of Muslims and the motto of Islam;

"May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you"

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

"A Muslim owes another Muslim six duties. To greet him when he meets him, to accept when he gives him an invitation, to give him good counsel when he asks him for advice, to pray for mercy for him when he sneezes and says "Praise be to Allah" , to visit him when he is ill, and follow him (attend his funeral) when he dies".

We should not take preference of alternative greeting forms such as "Good Morning", "Good Evening", "Hello" or an arabic greeting such as sabah al khair/ marhaba/ ahlan wasahlan etc. in the place of this greeting. This greeting is the sign of Islam and the phrase the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) reccommended and used. The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said to Anas (رضى الله عنه) :

"My son, greet you family when you enter your home, for that is a blessing for you and your family"

The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) also said:

"When one of you comes to an assembly, he should give the greeting. If he leaves he should give the greeting. Neither greeting is more deserving than the other."

(Al Adab Al Mufrad)

The greeting is deemed by many scholars to be wajib or sunnat ul mu'aqada whilst the reply is obligatory. So one is sinful for not giving salam. However when we make the intention to give greetings of salam we refer to 3; the person we meet, and the 2 angels. So the greeting of salam is of much greater value than "hi", "hello" etc, we have the intention of the dua'a which is multiple depending on the length of our salam and the degree to which we extend it. No matter whether our salam is given a reply by the person, the angels answer, so even when we enter an empty house, one should remember to make the greeting of salam.

So for example Asalamu-alaykum is plural, whilst Asalamu-alayka is the singular of the greeting. So in turn we should be generous with our greetings, we should when greeted reply with a greeting, a dua'a of equal or greater extent to gain extra reward.

In turn one must not be miserly with their reply. Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-'As (رضى الله عنه)narrated:

"A liar is someone who lies in his oath. A miser is someone who is miserly with the greeting (of salam). A theif is someone who steals from the prayer (i.e. does not pray properly)."

One must always be gentle in their manner of greeting, as narrated in the hadith:

"Gentleness adorns every act. It's absence will tarnish it"
(Sahih Muslim)

Jabir Ibn Abdullah (رضى الله عنه) narrated:

"Some of the Jews greeted the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) saying, As-sam 'alaykum (Death be upon you) and the Prophet responded, And upon you. 'Aisha (رضى الله عنها), said angrily "Didn't you hear what he said?" The Prophet replied Yes and I answered them. We will be answered for what we said of them and they will not be answered for what they said to us".

So even with the non-muslims one must remember the correct adab that must be adopted.

Giving salam in certain situations is disliked, for example when you may disturb someone, when being taught, listening to the khutbah of salat-ul-jumu'ah, eating, sleeping, or in an important or private situation for example. However in other circumstances we should take heed and give salam, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

"By the One in Whose hand in my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salam amongst yourselves."

(Muslim)

Imam Nawawi (رحمة الله عليه) said, "It is preferred to say Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim (In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful) when you enter your houses or the houses of others. You should say salam even if you enter vacant or uninhabited places and say a prayer to go out. It is narrated by Anas (رضى الله عنه) that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

"If someone says, 'In the name of Allah, I seek help from Allah. There is no strength nor might except with Allah', then he will be told ' You are protected my slave' and Satan will leave him."

(Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud)

He cited another hadith narrated by Muslim that Jabir Ibn Abdullah (رضى الله عنه) heard the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) say:

"If you enter your house and pray to Allah when entering and before your meals, Satan will say [to his minions] 'No sleep and no food'. If you enter without praying to Allah, Satan will say [to his minions], 'You have got your sleep and your meal'."

NB: For further detail on the rulings related to "Greetings" see Chapter 2: "The Book of Manners"